Sweet Relief

I went in to my CranialSacral Therapist this morning and it was wonderful! For those of you that don't know what that is, CST is a therapy that works with your spinal fluid and pretty much everything in your body to ensure that valves are open and you body is straight. This is the treatment I went to in Florida when I was in High School.

My appointment this morning went very well, she found that all the lymph nodes in my abdomen were frozen. This is exactly how I explained my stomach pain, things just felt like they weren't moving. So she helped those begin to flow again, they are sluggish but much, much better than before! She believes they froze from surgery in December, when you have surgery they pump air into you so they can see what they are doing, which is good, however some people react to the air that is left in them and that is what I did. We think that it caused my lymph nodes to freeze.

My rash came back today around one o'clock however it is not nearly as bad as yesterday. My CST thinks she knows what I have so I will be going in for more blood work on monday or tuesday. She believes it could possibly be lyme disease, we looked up the symptoms together and I have almost all of them. My doctors just don't understand why the pain keeps coming back generally the same, and that would explain why.  

Wednesday early in the morning I am headed off to Florida! My mom was planning on visiting our family there but as of today I will be going as well. Every time before whenever we would go south I would have instant relief whenever I got off the plane due to humidity and heat. I have actually been told by two different doctors to move south, I am not moving but I am going for a pain break.   :) 

Prayer Requests:
*That I would be able to keep up in my classes with all assignments and projects due
*For safety in traveling-my mom and I are taking separate flights and my memory has not been the best so for a safe mind when traveling.
*Also that I would get everything done that I need to before I leave

Odds and Inn's of a new day

What a past couple of days! I have some good news! My organs are beginning to hurt less, I went in to my doctor today and he said that during surgery some of my other organs could have been bumped or scratched and I could have done something to jar them in the wrong way. None the less they are on the upward climb! More good things, the last three nights I have been able to sleep! I am really thankful for the much needed rest because the new medicine I started today will make it hard to sleep again. 

Some new symptoms:

 last night at class I got really itchy and realized I had a small rash so I went to bed hoping that it would be gone by morning and I was wrong, it had spread and my hands and feet were very swollen. I couldn't  bend my fingers and walking was hard but my hands are doing much better and my feet are on their way as well. The medicine I started today is for the rash, they are doing testing because they have no clue what it is from. I think it is really interesting, I only have the rash around my joints; feet, knees, hips, wrists and hands they have no clue why this is but I thought it was fascinating. 

The last thing I will say about my symptoms is that for about two weeks my memory has been getting worse, I am forgetting quite a bit of things which makes school and doctor visits hard by myself. However I have wonderful friends and classmates who keep me updated on homework due and remind me of things I need to have done etc. I truly couldn't survive this without my friends and family. Thank you all for you patience and grace! 

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"When pain is to be borne, a little courage helps more than much knowledge, a little human sympathy more than much courage, and the least tincture of the love of God more than all." C. S. Lewis 

Tincture: slight quality added to any thing, a trace, a slight infusion (Webster's Dictionary)

 

I think that C. S. Lewis is right on, at least this quote has proved true in my life. When I was in High School and I became sick this world taught me to hide my pain to suck it up and show a brave face, to have courage. I did that but what I longed for was someone to sit by me and cry with me. I know that sounds depressing but I was a teenager for all I knew the pain may never go away. The friends that I told I had pain ran, they didn't know what to say, but I didn't want them to say anything I just wanted them to cry with me I wanted human sympathy. Lastly the love of God, as you know a year and a half into my pain I accepted Christ into my life. It was then that I was no longer depressed, I came to an understanding that I could live with the pain forever and I was okay with that. Why? 

I was okay with the pain because I know that one day, maybe tomorrow, maybe decades from now I am going to die, every single one of us will. Death is a fact of life, it used to be something I feared and you may roll your eyes or stop reading but please listen. God sent His son Jesus Christ to this world to die for us. Jesus could die for us because He lived a perfect life, He had no sin. Maybe some of you think you have lived a perfect life lets check it out I have some questions for you...

1)Have you ever told a lie? 

2)Have you ever disobeyed your parents? 

3)Have you ever said the Lords name as a curse? 

4)Have you ever stolen something? 

You may recognize these, they are some of the Ten Commandments, these are Gods standard of what is good, by telling a lie sin has entered our life and just as a man has to serve time here on earth for a crime he has committed so we will have to pay for our sin. Ready for the kicker? That is why God sent His son, look at those commands, they are impossible not to break! God set a high standard and He gave us His son so that if chosen Jesus will take the punishment for you. 

Imagine if you had just murdered someone and are standing in front of a judge and you say, "Im so sorry, I didn't mean to do it! It will never happen again I just wasn't thinking clearly." What do you think the judge will say if they are fair, if they are just? "Yeah no problem! You can go free!" Yeah right! You would be thrown in prison, well now Jesus has shown up and he wants to pay the price, He wants to cover your prison sentence so that you may have life. 

To have Christ in you life you have to come to an understanding that you have sinned and that you are guilty and deserve hell and have come to an understanding of who Jesus Christ is and what He did for you on the cross and ask him to cover your sins. Jesus came to this earth because of love, GOD LOVES YOU, but God will never force himself on you, you must choose him.  

If you have any questions please don't hesitate to ask me or anyone you know who really loves the Lord.  I believe this is the most important thing that anyone could ever think about. Have you thought about it? 

The Basics

Now that you all know the gist lets get into some details... 

I started having pain in my back five weeks ago, which was followed by my knees two weeks later. Soon to follow came a mass amount of joints and random symptoms. Some of the weirdest one which is organ pain, most of the time they all hurt I can't specify which organs they are (which I am usually pretty good at). The rest of the pain is mostly joints; ankle, hips, wrists, elbows and things of the like. We are pretty sure that there is one root cause we are just trying to find that root cause amidst the other issues. 

I went to a new Doctor today, the appointment went well, she found some things that were of concern ex/ my spine is rotated, some of my joints don't like to move and things of the like. She believed she can help but we are not sure if this is where we will be staying. 

I have been recommended to get a pass to the YMCA and go to their location which offers therapy to help build up my joints by doing exercise in the pool. I am excited for more swim time :) Katelyn and I went swimming on Sunday and it felt amazing (the heat helps a lot with pain). In the meantime I am still pressing through classes and have decided to take some time off of work. I haven't been able to sleep at night which makes work especially difficult due to other circumstances. 

Now to the good stuff :) 

Leviticus 26:13 I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of Egypt so that you would no longer be slaves to the Egyptians; I broke the bars of your yoke and enabled you to walk with heads held high.

I was thinking today about how detail oriented God is, just looking at the Hebrews and how they became enslaved is amazing to me. All the way back to Joseph whose brothers decided to sell him into slavery because he was favored by their father. Joseph became a slave for Pharaoh, he ended up in prison due to lies and one day he was asked to interpret a dream for Pharaoh. After this everything changed, Joseph was placed in charge of everything, even higher than Pharaoh in areas, Joseph was reunited with his family due to the famine. All of Joseph's family moved to Egypt and after Joseph and the Pharaoh died the Hebrew family became very strong in numbers and that is when it was decided that the Hebrews needed to be fenced in so they did not over power Egypt. Thus they became slaves.  

That is a long paragraph for a complex story, all of those things it made me wonder why the Hebrews needed to be enslaved in the first place, why couldn't they just remain free?  

Exodus 14:4 ...I will be honored through Pharaoh and all his army, and the Egyptians will know that I am the Lord. 

By the Hebrews being enslaved the Egyptians had the opportunity to see the power of God, Gods desire was that not only the Hebrews but also the Egyptians would know Him as He is and this was the way of doing so. 

I love to see the path the Lord uses in individual lives, there are a lot of times I think why did that person have to live through that? Wouldn't life be easier if that had not happened? I believe that sometimes the answer is yes, life could have been easier but maybe the Lord is using that struggle to wake you up. The Lord desires what is good for our life and not only ours but the lives of others around us. God does not willingly bring us pain but He molds us like a father disciplines his son even if sometimes we may not understand it, if we saddle up and brace for the ride one day we will.   

Back to the Beginning

I decided to make a blog because the Lord has been teaching me and growing me in ways I would never have imagined possible and through ways I never would have imagined I could endure. 

In my life I have gone through quite a bit of physical pain. When I was in tenth grade I started having pain in my knees that spread through my whole body. My family and I decided we would trust the Lord to heal me and in the process we went to many different doctors. My faith was not strong enough to endure and I gave up on the Lord healing me. I decided to put all my hope in doctors and as you could assume my hope was crushed. A year and a half later and I went to a youth conference where I accepted Christ fully for the first time, it was no longer a one way relationship this time I was willing to give my life. Six months later I was completely healed. 

Skipping ahead to the present age, five weeks ago I started having that same knee pain, and since then the pain has been spreading at a rapid pace. Although pain is not fun to go through it is beautiful to see the Lords faithfulness in it. When I had gallbladder surgery in December I had no strength to fight physical pain anymore and I saw the Lord step up and fight for me. 

Exodus 14:13 Do not fear! Stand by and see the salvation of the Lord which He will accomplish for you today...The Lord will fight for you while you keep silent.  

After surgery the idea of pain scared me to death I knew I couldn't handle it. When the pain started I realized the Lord didn't want me to handle it, He wants to share in my suffering that I many share in His. 

  2 Corinthians 4:7 We now have this light shining in our hearts, but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure. This makes it clear that our great power is from God not from ourselves. 

I am claiming this verse because I have seen this proved countless times in my short life, God has chosen to take these broken down jars and put a beautiful light in them. If I do anything, especially now, it is not because I have any strength I can give but its because the God I serve does. I am so very weak, and He is so very strong.  I am thankful for the pain that I am going through, Gods desire through this pain is to make me more like His Son and for that I can be thankful and rejoice. 

Prayer Requests: 

*I have started at two new Doctors both alternative medicine, pray they will know quickly if they can help my situation or not also for no scheduling conflicts

*Pray the Lord would use this pain to give Him glory 

*That I would hourly keep my eyes on the Lord and not on my flesh

Thank you, Keep pressing.