Yesterday, I had a lyme check up with Dr. P and it went really well. This last month my joints have been much sorer than any time I can remember in my past, but Dr. P thinks that could be due to the flu I had a few weeks ago still getting out of my system. Other then joint pain my Lyme has been going very well. The areas that have been giving me difficulty would be my hand, left foot and my legs.
I had my nerve test and it came back that my ulnar nerve is compressed, which means I have the rare form of carpal tunnel syndrome, only in my ulnar nerve. I recently had an MRI so we could look more closely at my hand and wrist and have not gotten the results back from it yet. However, there has been a new study done that found that people with Lyme have a higher percent of carpal tunnel, for some reason the lyme is sticking to nerves and creating compressed nerves. So this lack of healing in my hand could be from Lyme. I have been put on a new medication for inflammation that will prayerfully help reduce the symptoms in my hand.
When I was in high school I had very pronounced lyme symptoms for two years, when the symptoms began to decrease I picked up activities that I had quit due to the pain. I went out for the cross-country team again and over time I began having pain in my legs, everybody thought it was shin splints so I pushed through the pain. This wasn't exactly the best idea, because it wasn't shin splints, it was a stress fracture. My pushing through the pain resulted in a broken leg.
A stress fracture is where your muscles are not used to the activity and instead of laying against your bone they push into your bone. If you don't catch it and stop the activity that is causing the pain your bone will slowly break over time. Just over a month ago I began having symptoms in both of my legs and more recently my left foot, that reminded me of my past stress fracture, every symptom matched. So naturally I talked to Dr. P about this and he said that it is very likely that I could have stress fractures. So he put me on some new medicine for inflammation which I get to try for two weeks (it's the same medicine that may help my hand). At the end of the two weeks if I still have pain I will get a bone scan and depending upon the results I may be in a wheelchair for one month so my legs and foot can get the rest they need and the stress fractures would heal.
If you know me you will know that I hate injuries, I don't like braces, (like the one on my hand) I don't like anything that limits me or shows that I'm weak. I have a country girl mindset, the belief that showing pain is showing your weakness. To get a taste of how this mindset used to plague me I will give you two examples. First I mentioned earlier, pushing through pain to the point that I broke my leg the whole time not telling many it actually hurt. Secondly, I hid extreme pain from Lyme for over a year because I didn't want to look weak and I didn't want people to pity me. I once found a lot of value in being strong, and letting that lie go has been one of the hardest things for me to give up.
Over the years I have learned the importance of relying on the strength of the Lord and not the strength of my flesh, because no matter how strong I want to be, I have always and will always be weak. Over the years I've learned that that's exactly where the Lord wants me. If you know me you'll also know that one my favorite books of the Bible is Job. As I began working through the potential of being wheelchair-bound the Lord brought this verse to my mind...
"Naked I came from my mother's womb and naked I shall return there; the Lord gave and the Lord has taken away, blessed be the name of the Lord." ~Job 1:21
Life is not about being strong or healthy, it's about knowing God. I want to spend my life seeking to know and serve the Lord and make Him known to others. This life is pointless if you do not have a relationship with the Lord. This verse is what I pray my heart will be, now and for the rest of my life. I know that if God brings me to it, He will bring me through it. God has blessed me in so many ways, and so many of my blessings have stemmed from my pain. May I always give praise to the Lord because of who He is and never where I am.
* That Job 1:21 would be my heart
*That the inflammation medication would help my legs and my hand
*That no matter what cup I am asked to bear I would to it with a heart full of joy keeping my eyes on Christ, knowing that it is His strength that allows me to endure
*Dr. P's trial is coming up, pray he would be able to keep his office in Iowa
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