A Theme of Healing

The last few months have been really busy. With student teaching, graduation, applying for jobs, wedding planning, and buying a house I have put my health on the back burner. Now you know what is coming next, I got sicker! I got bronchitis and a sinus infection which made me feel pretty gross. From that I ended up cracking a few ribs from coughing too much. It has been a very healthy reminder that I am still weak and fragile. As humans we all are, but especially as a lyme disease patient, I am weaker than most. 

I was challenged by my discouraged attitude and lack of faith in Christ to heal me from these illnesses, but also from Lyme. I was challenged by some things I have read in  book of John. I was waiting and praying for Christ to heal me, He has the power to do so in one word. However, I have not been active to pursue healing myself by using the resources He has provided for me. 

I have been astounded by a particular theme I see in healing displayed in the scripture. 

Believe, Trust, and Act. 

It may seem simple, but it is so profound to me. I have three examples of this from the book of John. 

Example One: 

⁴⁹ The royal official *said to Him, “^[h]Sir, come down before my child dies.” ⁵⁰ Jesus *said to him, “Go; your son lives.” The man believed the word that Jesus spoke to him and started off. ⁵¹ As he was now going down, his slaves met him, saying that his ^[i]son was living. ⁵² So he inquired of them the hour when he began to get better. Then they said to him, “Yesterday at the seventh hour the fever left him.” ⁵³ So the father knew that it was at that hour in which Jesus said to him, “Your son lives”; and he himself believed and his whole household. ~John 4:49-53

A nobleman sought out Jesus to go to his home and heal his son who was deathly ill. Jesus, rather than traveling with him simply told him your son will live, go home. That nobleman didn't fight or beg Jesus to travel with him and heal his son, but rather he left Jesus fully believing and trusting that his son was well. He had no idea if Jesus' words would be true but he believed them to be. This man was rewarded by his trust, belief and action in Christ. In turn his son was indeed made well at the exact moment Jesus said the word. 

Example Two: 

² Now there is in Jerusalem by the sheep gate a pool, which is called in Hebrew Bethesda, having five porticoes. ³ In these lay a multitude of those who were sick, blind, lame, and withered, [waiting for the moving of the waters; ⁴ for an angel of the Lord went down at certain seasons into the pool and stirred up the water; whoever then first, after the stirring up of the water, stepped in was made well from whatever disease with which he was afflicted.] ~John 5:2-4

This is a funky idea that I had never quite understood prior times to reading John but stay with me! There was a pool of water that many sick and afflicted people would flock to. Why? Every so often an angel would come down and stir the water, potentially putting a healing agent in the water. The first person to enter the pool was healed from their illness. 

My first thought was why is it that only the first person to enter the pool that was healed? Seemed a bit selfish to me. After reading some commentaries by Matthew Henry I was given a different perspective. By having only the first person who entered the pool be healed it showed direct action and trust in their ability to be well. They didn't wait around and see what happened when others entered the water but they jumped in believing they would be made well. Again, we see these people trusted they would be made well to the point they flocked around this water and stayed their waiting for it to be stirred up so they could jump in. That is quite a step of faith.

Example Three: 

⁶ When He had said this, He spat on the ground, and made clay of the spittle, and applied the clay to his eyes,⁷ and said to him, “Go, wash in the pool of Siloam.”So he went away and washed, and came back seeing. ⁸ Therefore the neighbors, and those who previously saw him as a beggar, were saying, “Is not this the one who used to sit and beg?” ⁹ Others were saying, “This is he,” still others were saying, “No, but he is like him.”^[a]He kept saying, “I am the one.” ¹⁰ So they were saying to him, “How then were your eyes opened?” ¹¹ He answered, “The man who is called Jesus made clay, and anointed my eyes, and said to me, ‘Go to Siloam and wash’; so I went away and washed, and I received sight.” ~John 9:6-11

The final example I have read thus far in John is the story of a blind man. Jesus saw this blind man and He spit on the ground and created a clay substance which he rubbed on this mans eyes. He then told the man to go wash in the pool of Siloam. The man then had a choice to make. Having no idea who Jesus was he could choose to rub the clay off and go his own way, back to the only lifestyle he knew of or he could believe Jesus and walk by faith to the pool to receive his eyesight. 

The man did walk by faith and washed in the pool and received his eyesight. Had he not believed Jesus and taken the steps to healing he would not have gained his eyesight. 

In all of these situations we see Jesus Christ who has the ability and power to heal each and every illness with a word, but that is not how He healed people. Jesus desired to see each persons heart. If that person believed and took steps of faith and trust they were healed. If they did not uphold their end of what Jesus told them to do for healing, they were not healed. 

This has been such a healthy reminder for me spiritually and physically. I still have lyme disease, although it is much better (sometimes forget I have it because of the healing I have experienced) Christ still asks me to walk by faith believing He can heal me, but also to pursue that healing by being faithful to the doctors He has provided for me. 

It is also a reminder that Jesus pursues us spiritually and greets us where we are at, but He also loves us too much to leave us where we are. He rather desires to see us grow in faith and trust. We can do that by reading the scripture and believing what He says as truth and walking in it. 

"To believe in Christ is to commit ourselves to Him and His guidance. " ~ Matthew Henry

Questions to Consider: 

In what ways have you committed yourself to Christ? 

What ways have you followed Christ's guidance? 

How can you grow in your belief of Christ and trust in Him? 

What action steps of faith is the Lord asking you do take? 

Prayer: 

*We would be people who believe, trust and respond to Jesus in faith.

*Healing for my illness, ribs, and lyme disease. 

*Help to follow the doctors orders and be faithful to my treatment plan.

Exciting New: 

*Today is my last day at Woodside Middle School as a student teacher and my last day as a student! It is also Alex's last day at Lawson. Our graduation ceremony is December 21, 2013!

*We bought a house and have it all cleaned and ready for Alex to move in tomorrow! 

*Alex Deeter and I are getting married in 17 days and counting! 

Surprise of a Lifetime

October 2, 2013 started like a normal day but quickly became abnormal. 

A dozen red roses were sent to me at school by Alex to celebrate our sixth month anniversary. The flowers arrived with a beautiful card asking to take me out for a surprise dinner that night. I felt very loved and the flowers were beautiful! 

Soon the students began to come in to the classroom and started handing me gifts and cards. I received a bracelet, a pink rose, and many cards! It was two weeks before my last day and the students had no idea it was my anniversary but I felt very loved from all the gifts! 

These are the flowers and the gifts I received October 2nd. 

The school day progressed as usual besides the fact the students continued to ask about the flowers. I had this conversation dozens of times! "The flowers were from my boyfriend, Mr. Deeter who is student teaching at Harding. It is our sixth month anniversary today so he sent me flowers." I think they liked the story, so they continued to ask randomly about them. As a side note: the students who didn't give me gifts were making cards all throughout the day so my desk began to pile up!  

Toward the end of the school day I was working with a few students on spelling. They got side tracked and asked about the flowers. As I began to share my story again, Mr. Deeter walked in the room. He asked if we could talk for a bit. I had assumed outside of the classroom so I was going to ask my Cooperating teacher if I could leave when Alex got down on one knee and pulled out a big beautiful Batman ring! 

Alex realized he pulled out the wrong ring so he quickly threw it (to an eager student) and reached in his pocket for the correct ring which turned out to be another batman ring! That was given to another eager student. Alex then got the correct ring and asked me to marry him.

My cooperating teacher was in on the surprise (although the students were not-it is  still a mystery why I received all those gifts!) I have posted some of the pictures she was able to take.  

Alex proposing with the correct ring :) 

I love the facial expressions of some of my students! 

Our first picture after the proposal. 

The students quickly began to flock and gander. Some of the girls were even crying...although they were quick to tell me "These are happy tears Miss. Sampson!" 

So of course when people flock, it is a perfect opportunity for a picture! But we became more official and moved to the front of the room to take a legit picture. 

This is a picture of my whole class with Alex & I. 

(I have bunny ears in all the group pictures...leave it to a fourth grader!)

Here are the two proud owners of the batman rings! 

A picture of Alex and I after the students left. 

And finally a picture of the gifts that continued pouring in. I received a huge stack of cards and lots of flowers! (Real & Fake) 

The students loved the excitement and I was thankful to share the experience with them. I could not have hand picked a better way to be proposed to! 

Alex with the flowers he gave me and a peak at my engagement ring...beautiful! 

So Alex and I are engaged! We set the wedding date for December 31, 2013. A great way to end the year and begin another! 

Courting...A Game of Tennis

Alex and I met our freshman year at DMACC in August 2008. We met because both of us were apart of DMACC Campus Fellowship and members of Walnut Creek Downtown Church. We didn't interact much our first year but were always at the same events. 

This picture is from our freshman year at DMACC with the Campus Fellowship group. Alex and I are right in the middle of the group and at this time didn't really interact much! 

This is Campus Fellowship on a mission trip our freshman year, March 2009, to Manhattan Kansas. Alex and I were assigned to the same travel group and this is when I began to notice his attractive character and love for the Lord.

As time progressed Alex and I became close friends. We were given many opportunities to serve together and lead together by being on the same planning committee and leading different lifegroups. As we interacted more I was able to see his strong love for the lord and his strong desire to share the Lord with the world. Alex was always pursuing men and sharing the gospel of Christ with them.  

Time went on and Alex and I graduated DMACC with some close friends. 

Here is a small group of the many people that graduated DMACC from Campus Fellowship in Spring  2011. 

Alex and I were now done with DMACC but had both signed on to complete the 2+2 Program through UNI. We both desired to be a teacher and wanted to stay with Campus Fellowship. This program allowed us to complete a UNI education while at DMACC Campus in Ankeny. 

These are our classmates. The program was three years long, part time classes. We are all in the final stage now completing our second placement of Student Teaching! Graduation is so close! 

Gaining much more time together, through school, Alex and I continued to grow in our friendship. Since we also had the same class schedule Alex was one of the people who constantly helped me out when I was sick by driving me to appointments and ensuring I was caught up on homework when my memory was bad. I truly don't think I would have completed the program without his help and support. How thankful I am for his friendship and brotherly care! 

Here are some more photos of DMACC Campus Fellowship. 

This is a photo of Campus Fellowship at the yearly Faithwalkers conference in December 2013. 

We had the opportunity to take a small getaway to Minnesota in March 2013. This is a group picture of us after church. 

 This is also in Minnesota at an art museum we visited. What a wonderful group of friends! 

Alex and I had been friends for close to five years by now. As time progressed and I saw his faith I began to be attracted to him and develop strong feelings for him.  I continually brought those feelings before the Lord and prayed He would remove them. 

The Lord did not remove those feelings, but He continued to increase them. Little did I know, God was working on Alex in the same way. On March 29, 2013 -my birthday- I was approached by Alex Deeter. He showed up at the school I was doing a field experience at and asked if I would pray about pursuing a relationship with him. The purpose of dating would be to get married, we call it courtship at our church. 

After a few days of prayer and seeking counsel from friends and leaders, I told Alex yes on April 2, 2013. Since then we have had some wonderful times growing closer together and closer to the Lord. Alex has encouraged my faith in so many ways. I am so thankful for his strong desire to pursue the Lord and endure through trials. 

As we began to announce our courtship we were met with many friends commenting they wondered when that would happen. Many claim to have "called it" years ago. I am just so thankful for the Lords work behind the scenes as He grew Alex and I together. 

This picture was taken (I believe) our second year at DMACC Campus Fellowship. We often went swing dancing and at this particular time Alex and I were dancing...the first time we danced together I believe. I am sharing this photo because friends have commented when they saw it, they knew we would date one day. I am thankful they kept their feeling to themselves until Alex and I were courting but it is a fun memory to have. :) 

A few months after we began dating we transitioned to a Walnut Creek Downtown Community group. Although sad to leave our DMACC Campus Fellowship friends we were excited to transition together and see what the Lord had in store. Another huge blessing was that Nathan, Stephen, Katelyn, Jake DePenning, Alex and I were all able to transition together. Most of us had served together at DMACC for five years and I am so thankful to continue serving with them! 

This picture is of our new Community Group and the wonderful men and women we are serving with today. 

 "Delight yourself in the Lord; and He will give you the desires of your heart." 

~Psalms 37:4

The Blessing of Healing

Every time I think that life will slow down just a little I am surprised with less time than before! Time has again flown by and I hope you had a delightful summer. My last blog post was in April when I was concerned about a jaw infection, shortly after I posted we went in for the check up and I was completely infection free! What a blessing it is to be rid of the infections and have the surgeries behind me.

This summer I saw wonderful progress in my health. I am feeling the best I have felt in years and I am continuing to heal. I can do physically more than before although I still limit myself and try not to push my healing body too far. I don't wish illness on anyone, I but I wish everyone could experience the beautiful healing of the Lord I have the blessing of experiencing everyday.

"All discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful: yet to those who have been trained by it, afterwards it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness. Therefore, strengthen the hands that are weak and the knees that are feeble, and make straight paths for your feet, so that the limb which is lame may not be put out of joint, but rather be healed."~Hebrews 12: 11-13

My life has been full of illness and pain physically. Before accepting Christ as Savior I was broken not only physically but spiritually and emotionally. I was at a dead end with no where to go. More and more I realize how this world is far bigger than me. What is there to live for if we don't know the Lord? We waste our time working, our money on items that will fade or break and our energies pursuing our own interests that will not satisfy. What do we have to turn to?

"For you have been called for this purpose, since Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example for you to follow in His steps, who committed no sin, nor was any deceit found in His mouth; and while being reviled, He did not revile in return; while suffering, He uttered no threats, but kept entrusting Himself to Him who judges righteously; and He Himself bore our sins in His body on the cross, so that we might die to sin and live to righteousness; for by His wounds you were healed." ~ 1 Peter 2:21-24

Do you know Jesus Christ? He is the only thing that satisfies, the only thing that brings true joy. It is Christ who I met through my pain. It was only when I was broken that I was humbled enough to see His salvation. It is these experiences many people have, and many people have the blessing of watching spiritual, physical and emotional healing in their life. Although it is painful, you have a rare blessing I wouldn't give up for the world. 

We had a check up at Dr. Guss this August and I am doing well, seeing great improvement. I will continue on my regimen and go in for another check up in March. After our check up my family headed on a ten day vacation through North Dakota, Montana, Wyoming, and Idaho. It was a blast with many new experiences. 

Here is a collage of some of our experiences in Montana, I will share more pictures later :) 

On a sad note, Dr. P has been closed down from both Iowa and Illinois. Please be praying for all the people who are now seeking a new doctor and having difficulties finding one. This is a very hard time for many of them. Also pray for Dr. P, I am not sure what he will do next but pray he would see the Lord through this. God uses all things, I personally think when we are weakest and most broken is when we are more able to see the Lord.

"And He has said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness." Most gladly therefore I will rather boast about my weaknesses so that the power of Christ may dwell in me." ~2 Corinthians 12:9

May our weakness, whatever they be, draw us closer to our Lord. May we live for eternity, that will never fade. 

Lastly, the time has come! I have begun student teaching, I just completed my first week and I am loving it. I begin teaching science on monday and am excited for the experiences that will occur in the next seven weeks. I love my cooperating teacher and the students are wonderful. It is a delight to work with kids all day! The Lord has blessed tremendously thus far in my placement and I am excited for what is to come. 

Prayer: 

*Continued healing, that it will continue drawing me closer to My Lord

*Wisdom and direction for those searching for a new doctor and they might see the Lord through this change. 

*That I would feel great through student teaching and be able to show and speak the love of Christ

Faithful Love

The last few months have been full of stories and blessings, I could write for hours about all the details but I don't quite have time for it and I assume you wouldn't have time to read it all anyway! So I am going to bring up the main points of the last few months. 

I had jaw surgery on my left wisdom tooth site in December, and I returned to St. Louis for a check up to see if the infection was all removed. The infection had been removed however I now had infection in the right wisdom tooth site, so we scheduled the surgery in February. The second surgery was much more difficult than the first. Before surgery my lymph node in the back of my neck swelled up and was causing a lot of pain, this was a sign of the infection. This among other reasons made for a difficult recovery. When I finally got the stitches out it still looked infected and I actually wasn't able to open my mouth fully for at least a week after the stitches were removed where with the first surgery I could open it fully with the stitches in. I go in for my next check up to see if the infection is all removed in a few weeks and would love your prayers that the surgery would have been successful and these surgeries are behind me. 

One thing I did not expect from jaw surgery was that it would provide a gateway of healing for my hand. After a year of struggle and lack of mobility I can not only flatten my hand on a table but I can also raise my ring finer an inch above the surface!!! This has been a beautiful example to me of how intricately and perfectly the Lord made us. 

"For You formed my inward parts; You wove me in my mother's womb, I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; wonderful are Your works, and my soul knows it very well." ~Psalm 139:13-14

I began physical therapy and have been thriving! I am currently taking time off of going in for therapy and working on designated exercises at home to strengthen my weakest muscles and will go in for check ups to monitor my progress. I am also able to walk much further than I remember walking in a few years! It has been such a blessing with the warmer weather to go out and walk, it provides such sweet fellowship with the Lord and friends. 

Towards the end of March I had my Level III Placement. This is a full time teachers schedule for a week in a school, I was at Woodside Middle School with Seventh grade geography/social studies. This placement is a taste of student teaching, we take on a teacher schedule and get as involved as we can. I had the opportunity to teach a full day as well as teach other parts of lessons. 

For the last few months I coated the week of my Level III Placement in prayer. I was still having difficulty with early mornings let alone early mornings and long days. But I trusted Gods timing and was waiting to see how He would provide. The result: God answered every one of my prayers far more than I could have imagined through this week! I was assigned to a wonderful placement teacher  who was very welcoming, encouraging, and teachable and I loved my time with her! I had no difficulties waking up early and only recall one moment in the whole week that I was a little nauseous. How the Lord blessed this time! I am still getting up at 6:50 without an alarm clock every morning and feeling pretty good all day! This is making my life far more productive, that's for sure! 

This March my family was able to take a get away to Walker Minnesota and stay at Chase on the Lake. We had a delightful time being together and relaxing. While we were there we also went cross-country skiing, had our own little bowling alley, went snowmobiling, and spent many evenings in the hot tub! 

Here is my parents; Doug and Kelli at the bowling alley

Tera, Aaron and I at the bowling alley 

Aaron, Tera, and I cross-country skiing...which is far more difficult in Minnesota than the gentle rolling hills of Iowa so if you go you have been forewarned! 

We had a wonderful time together and are looking forward for our summer vacation together! 

Lastly, my birthday has just passed and I would like to give credit to all of my friends and family. The last day of my placement was also my birthday I was given two bouquets of flowers; one from my parents and another from my roommate and dear friend Katelyn. These were a surprise sent to me at Woodside and made me feel dearly loved. I also was made a cake and given a card from the teachers who I had worked with for the week, something so sweet I never would have guessed or expected it! 

Heres the beautiful flowers I was given, my desk was very decorated and beautiful the last day! 

On top of all that I received  tons of happy birthday wishes from my friends, all this combined made this my favorite birthday yet! I am so thankful for the people the Lord has placed in my life and how He is so good at loving me through them. Thank you all for your support and friendship! 

"Delight yourself in the Lord; and He will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him, and He will do it." ~Psalm 37:4-5 

Prayer Requests:

*That my check up in St. Louis would be successful and there would be no more infection

*I have been getting nauseous this week from food, I would love prayer that the nausea would subside and I would be able to eat a health amount. 

Update: Dr. P. is still in Iowa and has not had his court date yet but it is looking like he may be able to stay. Please keep him in you prayers. 

Rejoice

Another Thanksgiving and Christmas have come and gone and it has been a time of rejoicing for my family. The last time I updated you I had leg pain they believed were stress fractures, and a useless right hand. I had an MRI and it came back that my bones are healthy. No stress fractures! That means no wheelchair! How thankful and excited we were and are for that news! 

So what is it? The guess is lyme build-up attacking certain parts of my legs. So I get to start physical therapy to help break up that build-up. I haven't started yet but I am excited, my prayer all along was that I would be able to start physical therapy in Spring 2013, I thought I was as far aways as I could be from starting it. Yet again I see how the Lord knows so much more than me or any of my doctors. 

I read this verse the other day, 

"For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts." ~Isaiah 55:8-9 

This verse reminded yet again of how much God is in control, especially when things are going far different than I had imagined. I see and understand so little, but God sees and understands all things. How thankful I am for His guidance, even if I drag my feet at times. A fun fact: I can already walk farther and have much less leg pain than before and I can wear normal shoes! I am no longer limited to cushioned shoes :) 

The week before Christmas I went in for jaw surgery, I had an infection from a wisdom tooth surgery in High School. It was spur of the moment, but not at the same time. We found the infection the same time I got a positive lyme test, so we decided to wait till I was a bit stronger to do the surgery. So we decided it was now or never, not really but if it wasn't this Christmas it wouldn't be for another year. So we went ahead with it, and how thankful I am that we did!

Every tooth we have is associated with different aspects of our body, (Use this link to see the tooth site chart) I had surgery on site C17 which happens to correlate with the ulnar nerve, the nerve that has gone bad in my hands. Since surgery I have begun writing with my right hand, with very minimal pain, and I have been wearing my brace far less. I firmly believe the infection was having an impact on my ulnar nerve. How thankful I am to be able to use my right hand again! The pain is not all gone but it is far, far better than before. My ring finger is even getting a bit more mobile, I can almost lay my hand flat on a table now! Before my ring finger would stick and not straighten very far. Another reason our family was rejoicing this Christmas season. 

One update that is not joy filled news is that Dr P. is giving up Iowa territory, he is no longer able to afford the court costs. His court session is in early February and to my limited knowledge he will be begin full time in Illinois shortly after. Please be praying for him as this time has been and will continue to be difficult for him. 

We just ended the season of rejoicing in Christ's birth and I would like to share a verse with you...

"He became their Savior. In all their affliction He was afflicted, and the angel of His presence saved them; in His love and in His mercy He redeemed them, and He lifted them and carried them all the days of old." ~Isaiah 63:8b-9

Do you ever feel lonely? Do you ever feel that people do not understand? Or that life is too hard? I beg you to look elsewhere for life. Christmas is a time of celebrating the birth of Christ. Do you understand that He came to this world knowing that He would be rejected, ignored, beaten, and killed. He came to earth because His love for us is far greater than anything He knew He would suffer. He desired a way that we may have a relationship with Him, and the only answer to that was Himself, He became the sacrifice to bridge the gap between this world and Himself. 

One thing the Lord has revealed to me this Christmas season is that my whole life, this whole world is pointless if we do not know Christ. He alone is the only thing worth knowing. I pray you too will come to this understanding and choose to rely upon the one who loves you so dearly that He died, simply that you may know Him and be with Him for eternity. It is my prayer that we do not get stuck in the small details or trial of life but always keep our eyes on Christ, the only one who will never disappoint. May we always rejoice in this truth.  

Prayer Requests: 

*That I would continue to improve and get stronger every day, that I would be healthy enough to student teach in the fall

*For Dr. P, peace during this time and wisdom to know what to do next

*That all of us would realize the impact of Christ's birth, death, and resurrection on a daily basis, and seek an intimate, and personal relationship with Him

The Lord Gives, The Lord Takes

Yesterday, I had a lyme check up with Dr. P and it went really well. This last month my joints have been much sorer than any time I can remember in my past, but Dr. P thinks that could be due to the flu I had a few weeks ago still getting out of my system. Other then joint pain my Lyme has been going very well. The areas that have been giving me difficulty would be my hand, left foot and my legs. 

 I had my nerve test and it came back that my ulnar nerve is compressed, which means I have the rare form of carpal tunnel syndrome, only in my ulnar nerve. I recently had an MRI so we could look more closely at my hand and wrist and have not gotten the results back from it yet. However, there has been a new study done that found that people with Lyme have a higher percent of carpal tunnel, for some reason the lyme is sticking to nerves and creating compressed nerves. So this lack of healing in my hand could be from Lyme. I have been put on a new medication for inflammation that will prayerfully help reduce the symptoms in my hand.

When I was in high school I had very pronounced lyme symptoms for two years, when the symptoms began to decrease I picked up activities that I had quit due to the pain. I went out for the cross-country team again and over time I began having pain in my legs, everybody thought it was shin splints so I pushed through the pain. This wasn't exactly the best idea, because it wasn't shin splints, it was a stress fracture. My pushing through the pain resulted in a broken leg. 

A stress fracture is where your muscles are not used to the activity and instead of laying against your bone they push into your bone. If you don't catch it and stop the activity that is causing the pain your bone will slowly break over time. Just over a month ago I began having symptoms in both of my legs and more recently my left foot, that reminded me of my past stress fracture, every symptom matched. So naturally I talked to Dr. P about this and he said that it is very likely that I could have stress fractures. So he put me on some new medicine for inflammation which I get to try for two weeks (it's the same medicine that may help my hand). At the end of the two weeks if I still have pain I will get a bone scan and depending upon the results I may be in a wheelchair for one month so my legs and foot can get the rest they need and the stress fractures would heal. 

 If you know me you will know that I hate injuries, I don't like braces, (like the one on my hand) I don't like anything that limits me or shows that I'm weak. I have a country girl mindset, the belief that showing pain is showing your weakness. To get a taste of how this mindset used to plague me I will give you two examples. First I mentioned earlier, pushing through pain to the point that I broke my leg the whole time not telling many it actually hurt. Secondly,  I hid extreme pain from Lyme for over a year because I didn't want to look weak and I didn't want people to pity me.  I once found a lot of value in being strong, and letting that lie go has been one of the hardest things for me to give up.

 Over the years I have learned the importance of relying on the strength of the Lord and not the strength of my flesh, because no matter how strong I want to be, I have always and will always be weak.  Over the years I've learned that that's exactly where the Lord wants me. If you know me you'll also know that one my favorite books of the Bible is Job. As I began working through the potential of being wheelchair-bound the Lord brought this verse to my mind...

"Naked I came from my mother's womb and naked I shall return there; the Lord gave and the Lord has taken away, blessed be the name of the Lord." ~Job 1:21

 Life is not about being strong or healthy, it's about knowing God. I want to spend my life seeking to know and serve the Lord and make Him known to others. This life is pointless if you do not have a relationship with the Lord. This verse is what I pray my heart will be, now and for the rest of my life. I know that if God brings me to it, He will bring me through it. God has blessed me in so many ways, and so many of my blessings have stemmed from my pain. May I always give praise to the Lord because of who He is and never where I am. 

Prayer Requests:
* That Job 1:21 would be my heart
*That the inflammation medication would help my legs and my hand
*That no matter what cup I am asked to bear I would to it with a heart full of joy keeping my eyes on Christ, knowing that it is His strength that allows me to endure
*Dr. P's trial is coming up, pray he would be able to keep his office in Iowa