Almost three months have passed since I last updated you on my health. My goodness how fast time flies! I have successfully completed three of my four summer classes and am done in two weeks with the last one. This summer has been a huge opportunity to trust the Lord, for a lot of reasons, one of them being school. My classes were much more difficult this summer than I had expected or planned for, but once again I was able to see the Lords faithfulness through it.
A lot has happened this summer, my lyme has had its ups and downs, there have been many times where I have been sick for a couple days. Almost a month ago I had to go on a medicine holiday again, it lasted for a week because the medicine was too fast for my body. I am still working up to take all my medications at the same dose as before but with a large push on detoxing! So far I am up on my first med and at half dose on the second, I have yet to attempt Flagyl the third but will be there soon enough.
This summer is another summer of watching on the sidelines. I have a wonderful group of friends and family that give me a lot to watch, and I am so thankful for them! This summer though I have had to focus on being content. In some ways I am unable to do less than last year, because I can't use my hand. The Lord has been good in teaching me to be content in watching and waiting on Him. I am not where I thought I would be in my treatment, I was told most symptoms should go away the first three to six months and I am over a year now.
I still have joint pain, organ pain, pressure in my head, some memory loss, floaters and dizziness. I am still sick. There have been times this summer where I am very unsatisfied in being sick, but these times the Lord has also revealed Himself and my need to faithfully trust Him alone.
"The steps of a man are established by the Lord, and He delights in his way. When he falls, he will not be hurled headlong, because the Lord is the One who holds his hand."
~Psalm 37:23-24
I may not know exactly what is going on and the timing things may happen but I can fully trust the God who does. Pain is the item that the Lord used to grip my life and pain is the item the Lord teaches me the most in. Therefore I am thankful and rejoice due to this pain that plagues my body because I know it has a purpose and God will continue to use it in growing me closer to Him.
The last time I posted, in April, my hand was doing much better than I would have ever imagined, having just had surgery. A week or so after that I injured the finger I had just had surgery on. I had picked up a water bottle and there was a loud tearing sound and a lot of pain in that finger. Following that I had to restart hand therapy, after a month my hand was progressively getting worse and they told me to stop coming because it wasn't helping. I went to my hand surgeon again and she too has no idea what is wrong. Now my finger is still getting worse, I am losing mobility and am unable to use it for a lot of items, especially things you have to grip. We still do not know what is wrong with it so if you have any suggestions please let me know, I am all ears!
I am going to my Cranial Sacral Therapist, Chris, in Ames to see if she may know what is wrong with it. CST is a method of simply getting your body back on track healing itself. It works with the fluids in your body ensuring they are moving correctly and your alignment by doing light tough therapy. I have had a lot of success with CST in my past and am a strong advocate of it, it was actually Christ who brought me a lyme symptom sheet and told me I should get retested which resulted in a positive lyme test! I am praying she may have an idea when I see her. However I am claiming this verse;
"Do not trust in princes, in mortal man in whom there is no salvation. His spirit departs, he returns to the earth; in that very day his thoughts perish. How blessed is he whose help is the God of Jacob, whose hope is in the Lord his God." ~Psalms 146:3-5
My hope is not in healing from lyme disease, or finding out what is wrong with my hand. My hope is in God, it is He alone who will never let us down, He will never disappoint. When I was in high school and my doctor hunt had just begun I was repetitively crushed because I put my hope in a doctor finding out what was wrong with me and one by one they crushed me. They told me that its in my head, I am making it up and want attention, need to be on depression medication, and to suck it up. My hope was in this world, in man, but it is God alone who will never let us down.
This verse has been one I have claimed through every medical unknown. It shows me my need to put my hope in something that will never disappoint, that will never let me down. Therefore my prayer through this hand issue is that my hope would be in God alone, not a doctor finding out what is wrong. Because God will never disappoint.
*That I would trust and hope in God alone
*That I would not base my emotions off of a worldly item or feeling but God. No matter what happens to me that I would always remember that God is on His throne.
*Grace in becoming more left handed
*The end of my class would go well
*My health would improve, for healing
