A Trust Filled Summer

Almost three months have passed since I last updated you on my health. My goodness how fast time flies! I have successfully completed three of my four summer classes and am done in two weeks with the last one. This summer has been a huge opportunity to trust the Lord, for a lot of reasons, one of them being school. My classes were much more difficult this summer than I had expected or planned for, but once again I was able to see the Lords faithfulness through it. 

A lot has happened this summer, my lyme has had its ups and downs, there have been many times where I have been sick for a couple days. Almost a month ago I had to go on a medicine holiday again, it lasted for a week because the medicine was too fast for my body. I am still working up to take all my medications at the same dose as before but with a large push on detoxing! So far I am up on my first med and at half dose on the second, I have yet to attempt Flagyl the third but will be there soon enough. 

This summer is another summer of watching on the sidelines. I have a wonderful group of friends and family that give me a lot to watch, and I am so thankful for them! This summer though I have had to focus on being content. In some ways I am unable to do less than last year, because I can't use my hand. The Lord has been good in teaching me to be content in watching and waiting on Him. I am not where I thought I would be in my treatment, I was told most symptoms should go away the first three to six months and I am over a year now. 

I still have joint pain, organ pain, pressure in my head, some memory loss, floaters and dizziness. I am still sick. There have been times this summer where I am very unsatisfied in being sick, but these times the Lord has also revealed Himself and my need to faithfully trust Him alone. 

"The steps of a man are established by the Lord, and He delights in his way. When he falls, he will not be hurled headlong, because the Lord is the One who holds his hand." 

~Psalm 37:23-24 

I may not know exactly what is going on and the timing things may happen but I can fully trust the God who does. Pain is the item that the Lord used to grip my life and pain is the item the Lord teaches me the most in. Therefore I am thankful and rejoice due to this pain that plagues my body because I know it has a purpose and God will continue to use it in growing me closer to Him. 

The last time I posted, in April, my hand was doing much better than I would have ever imagined, having just had surgery. A week or so after that I injured the finger I had just had surgery on. I had picked up a water bottle and there was a loud tearing sound and a lot of pain in that finger. Following that I had to restart hand therapy, after a month my hand was progressively getting worse and they told me to stop coming because it wasn't helping. I went to my hand surgeon again and she too has no idea what is wrong. Now my finger is still getting worse, I am losing mobility and am unable to use it for a lot of items, especially things you have to grip. We still do not know what is wrong with it so if you have any suggestions please let me know, I am all ears! 

I am going to my Cranial Sacral Therapist, Chris, in Ames to see if she may know what is wrong with it. CST is a method of simply getting your body back on track healing itself. It works with the fluids in your body ensuring they are moving correctly and your alignment by doing light tough therapy. I have had a lot of success with CST in my past and am a strong advocate of it, it was actually Christ who brought me a lyme symptom sheet and told me I should get retested which resulted in a positive lyme test! I am praying she may have an idea when I see her. However I am claiming this verse; 

"Do not trust in princes, in mortal man in whom there is no salvation. His spirit departs, he returns to the earth; in that very day his thoughts perish. How blessed is he whose help is the God of Jacob, whose hope is in the Lord his God." ~Psalms 146:3-5  

My hope is not in healing from lyme disease, or finding out what is wrong with my hand. My hope is in  God, it is He alone who will never let us down, He will never disappoint. When I was in high school and my doctor hunt had just begun I was repetitively crushed because I put my hope in a doctor finding out what was wrong with me and one by one they crushed me. They told me that its in my head, I am making it up and want attention, need to be on depression medication, and to suck it up. My hope was in this world, in man, but it is God alone who will never let us down. 

This verse has been one I have claimed through every medical unknown. It shows me my need to put my hope in something that will never disappoint, that will never let me down. Therefore my prayer through this hand issue is that my hope would be in God alone, not a doctor finding out what is wrong. Because God will never disappoint.

Prayer Requests:
*That I would trust and hope in God alone
*That I would not base my emotions off of a worldly item or feeling but God. No matter what happens to me that I would always remember that God is on His throne.
*Grace in becoming more left handed
*The end of my class would go well
*My health would improve, for healing

Hand Surgery

I have successfully made it through hand surgery! Since surgery life has been crazy in ways that I would not have expected. I had no idea what the healing process would be like, every question I asked the doctor her reply was 'everyone is different' which wasn't very helpful for me who loves to be over prepared when it comes to surgery! 

The surgery was harder and easier than I had expected. For a week after surgery my hand was totally useless, I was one handed. I had the week off, praise the Lord, but it didn't feel like a week off because it took three to four time longer for me to do daily chores with one hand than with two, so I actually got little time to actually rest! I am so thankful for my roomies who were always eager to jump to my aid should I need help, especially with my hair! Thank you ladies! 

Once the stitches were taken out recovery became easier than I had expected. I started hand therapy to gain the mobility of my hand back, after a few days we were noticing significant improvement. I know I say this every time but God really does have perfect timing. There was a morning that I was getting very discouraged with my hand and when I went to do my morning stretches, no joke, it moved an inch  farther back than it had since surgery! I was ecstatic! The Lord delights in small beginnings therefore I delight in small improvements! 

I have some pictures for you, if you have a queasy stomach you may want to skip this part :) 

This was my hand five days after surgery, the first time I saw it after removing the bandages. 

This next picture is my hand a day or two after the stitches were removed. 

(Sorry its shiny, it's the lotion) 

Lastly, this is my hand today April 29, and my how it has improved! 

One thing I have loved about having hand surgery is the opportunity to witness drastic healing up close and personal. I have lyme disease which is an extended over the course of years I will heal. But this cut in my hand has healed over the course of weeks. It is beautiful to see how the Lord has designed our bodies so perfectly, He even gave us the ability to heal. What a blessing! 

The week after surgery my lyme was very quiet, looking back I call it the calm before the storm. God was gracious to give me a week to focus on my hand before lyme took over again. After that week I have been on a ten day medicine for my co-infection babisa, this is the med you take ten days of every month to help with my breathing co-infection. This month it made me much sicker than it has in the past. There were many days I had to cancel plans to stay home and rest. My last day on that medication was friday and I have been pretty sick since, I stayed home all day saturday and sunday. 

If you were unaware, lyme patients heal when they sleep, its how your body kicks the lyme. Im not sure why but that the way it is and every time I am sick or don't feel good I know I need more sleep! The last three nights in a row I have had over twelve hours of sleep each night! I guess I really needed the extra time to heal! As the day progresses I am feeling better than I have in a couple days which is a huge blessing. Weeks like the two I just had remind me I need to take it slow and make my health a priority of my daily living, especially when I am on extra medications that make me sicker! 

If you keep up with my blogs you will notice that I commonly write about the blessings I have been given by God. I read a beautiful verse about it.

For it is You who blesses the righteous man O Lord, You surround him with favor as with a shield. ~Psalm 5:12 

I began thinking about why God blesses us, what have we done to deserve the blessing that He pours about us, what have we done to deserve His favor? Well we haven't done anything! 

Return, O Lord, rescue my soul: save me because of Your lovingkindness. ~Psalm 6:4 

God favors us and blesses us because He loves us. This is something that I have known for a long time but looking at it again it blows my mind! Its like it just choose to travel from mind knowledge to heart knowledge. No matter what you are going through you can look at the Lord and see how richly blessed you are if you are a child of God. You are blessed because He loves you, its nothing about what we can or can not do, what a gift! 

Some small knowledge: 

I have successfully finished spring semester 2012 and I am on summer break! I get a week off then begin my summer classes, so I am going to live up no homework! I successfully passed all three of my classes and am excited to see the Lord work through the four I have this summer. 

My hand is still doing marvelous, I am even typing with it! I am still going to hand therapy and doing stretches and massaging it to reduce scar tissue and insure that the surgery was successful. During surgery they did find a trigger finger, they did some extra cuts during surgery and it seems to be functioning properly so far! 

Prayer Requests:
*Wisdom how to balance time this summer: classes, work, ministry, and health.
*That I will be able to keep up in summer classes and do well
*That I will never again have to have hand surgery (there's nothing you can do to prevent ganglion cysts) And if I get one that I will lean on God and let Him handle it from day one.
*That I will be feeling well for a full week of work and the ten day medicine will get out of my system soon, along with the co-infection!

My First Anniversary

March 28th is a special day for my history book, it is the day I was diagnosed with lyme disease. Most people when they hear the news that they have lyme it is a time of sadness, lyme is a very hard disease to live with and even harder to have victory over. But for me, it was a day to rejoice! I had spent years chasing symptoms and getting the same response from every doctor, nothing is wrong and I should get on medicine for depression. Praise the Lord for my family and their faith in the Lord and trusting  me that I was telling the truth. 

After six years that unexplainable pain was only getting worse, it was slowly killing me and doctors still had no clue what was wrong. Until one day in March my mother almost had to force my doctor in St. Louis to test me for lyme and the news came back on March 28th the day before my birthday that the test was positive! For the first time I actually knew what my body was fighting and that is a reason to rejoice! 

The last year has flown so quickly and with it there have been ups and downs with my symptoms and emotionally but the rock in my life has been constant, because God never changes. These are two of the verses have I have claimed throughout this last year.  

Now we have this light shining in our hearts, but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure, this makes it clear that our great power is from God, not from ourselves.    ~2 Corinthians 4:7 

"Do not call to mind the former things, or ponder things of the past. Behold I am doing something new, now it will spring forth; will you not be aware of it? I will even make a roadway in the wilderness, rivers in the desert."    ~Isaiah 43:18-19 

I have found that it does not matter where I am, what pain I have or anything else but it simply matters who God is. For much of my life I was focused on myself and it was only through my pain that my world was taken away from me in my eyes and I realized that even if I got it back it was temporary and I wanted eternal therefore I put my hope and faith in Christ and my life has radically changed since. 

"There are blessings we will never obtain if we are unwilling to accept and endure suffering. There are certain joys that come to us only through sorrow. There are revelations of Gods divine truth that we will recive only when the lights of earth have been estinguished. And there are harvests that will grow only once the plow has done its work." Streams in The Desert Devotional (Oct 4) 

There is a beauty that comes in the understanding that this is temporary, and searching for the one thing that is eternal. That is Christ Himself. 

I have been doing fairly well on my new medications, I am struggeling with my memory once again but it is more-so minor for now. I have also been getting nasous after meals so I have been drinking pop but not near as much as I used to! I went almost two months without a single pop! One day I will be able to do that again, but for now its needed. My hand is starting to give out on me, the surgery is this thursday and it, like everything, has come in perfect timing! 

My tendons are getting pretty sore they think it is simply from the cyst being a disturbance and hope the problem will be revealed during surgery or will go away when the cyst is gone. My left hand middle finger tendon is also hurting, I am hoping it may simply be due to overuse. I am right handed and have been favoring my left hand so it's not use to the exercise! The Lord has been teaching me through the lack of my right hand the same as He teaches me lessons through lyme and one thing I know is that He is a God that I can trust. 

Prayer Requests: 

*That surgery would go smoothly and successfully

*That I can finish my eight page paper before surgery thursday morning

*Healing for the next year of lyme

*That the Lord will continue to teach me great things through my lyme disease 

Good Gifts

I had an appointment with my lyme specialist on March 5th and it was wonderful! All of the new symptoms I have had the last two months has been due to not keeping up on supplements. For example, I didn't order my sleep medicine until it was gone which meant little sleep for Jenna for two weeks. I tried a new probiotic which I do not like, it created more abdomen pain, so I switched back to my old one which works great! And lastly my memory was really suffering and I had no idea why until one day out of the blue I remembered I used to take a supplement to help my memory, I had forgotten to take it for four weeks! 

So now I am trying to keep on top of all of my medicine and supplements especially in ordering new! I learned my lesson and we all got a kick out of me forgetting to take my memory medicine. The medicine we changed at this lyme appointment is upping the dose of Azithromycin which I was taking at half dose, this medication has been very difficult for me. In the fall I had a huge relapse from it causing me to take a medicine holiday for almost two months! So we have been taking it slow, I have been on half dose since November and am going to full dose every other day. Kinda tricky, but one day will be full dose and the next half dose to introduce it slowly. You could say I am at 3/4ths dose. 

I started my new job two weeks ago and I love it! The family is wonderful, I am so blessed to have the job I have. My life is busier because I have the new job and I am still working at Childserve Daycare. I am trying to find the balance of work, school, homework, ministry, and lyme disease. My hand is also holding up pretty well! I have been taping it almost daily but it is still pretty useful, its very weak but I am so thankful it is not as bad as the first cyst I had! 

"I thank Christ Jesus our Lord who has strengthened me, because He considered me faithful putting me to service." ~1 Timothy 1:12

I have no doubt that the strength that gets me through the day is from the Lord, I know it is not from me! I simply want to sleep and lay down all day! But I have never thought about why the Lord gives me strength, He gives us strength so that we may serve Him. If we know anything about the Lord we should desire to serve Him because of how much He has done for us, He deserves all we have. How beautiful it is that He helps us even then, He provides strength for us to endure everyday that we may have the opportunity to serve Him. What a wonderful God we serve! 

"Therefore behold, I will hedge up her way with thorns, and I will build a wall against her so that she cannot find her paths." ~Hosea 2:6

This verse is beautiful because it shows the Lords protection, here He is protecting this woman from repetitive adultery. She has a repetitive sin and the Lord has placed a barricade between herself and the sin. He is protecting her for her own good. 

My dad said an old proverb yesterday, "If you do not know where you are going then any road will lead you there." If we choose to surrender our life to the Lord we need to leave the reigns in the Lords hands. It is so easy to map out a path for your life, but the Lord has such greater things in store for us! Every time I have mapped out something for my life I don't get it, but in the end what I received was so much better than what I had mapped out! The Lord knows what we need and what is good for us much more than what we think we know. He is our protector because He loves us. Does a path your walking down seem to be closed? Stop and listen, maybe the Lord is asking you to walk in a different direction, we must let the Lord lead every step of our lives. We serve a God who gives us only good gifts, even if we don't see the good right away, we can trust God through it. 

Prayer Requests: 

*My body would successfully handle the new dose of medication

*That I will clear my map and let the Lord lead my life

*That I will find a healthy balance between work, school, ministry, and lyme

*Diligence in school work; I have three large projects due the week after my hand surgery

*Lastly, that I would not stress about school 

The Lyme Life

I went in to my hand specialist and a decision has been made, surgery is scheduled for April 5th. The history: in December I noticed a little bump on my right hand ring finger and it became almost useless immediately and stayed that way for over three weeks. The first time I went to the hand specialist she exploded my cyst and said that there was a 50/50 chance it would come back. The relief was great for the time but its back,  for now (Praise the Lord) my hand is still usable, I simply have to do things in moderation. The hardest things to do include typing and writing which the Lord is very gracious in with me because that consists of most of my life as a college student who loves to journal about her quiet times! 

My doctor is a little concerned about my hand, she thinks it may be more than a cyst. She thinks I may have trigger finger where my tendon bulges up and gets stuck which limits movement or the start of tendinitis. Hopefully it is simply a cyst but those are two things that she is concerned about that I am praying against. They will only know during surgery so I will keep you updated as I get them. 

One of my friends regularly asks me 'Hows livin the lyme life?' and I have come to enjoy the question! 

My lyme life is going well, although I made a mistake I will NEVER make again! I ran out of sleep medicine before I ordered more online, so the last few days I have been getting very little restless sleep but again the Lord is seeing me through everyday with just enough energy. However, I am very excited for that package to come in the mail! 

Other than that I am doing well, not too many updates on that part of life but more BIG news!  I got a new job! Its a part time nanny job for a family from North Ankeny, they have two little ones that I will be spending my tuesdays and wednesdays serving and loving on. One is 15 months and the other will be 4 weeks old. I start this wednesday and am so excited for the next step of life the Lord is leading me through! 

"But seek first His kingdom and all these things will be added to you." ~Luke 12:31

"For where you treasure is, there your heart will be also." ~Luke 12:34

These verses remind us that this world is temporary, and I do not want to pour my life into something that will fade. The Lord promises us Heaven and with that He gives us the option to live for Heaven while on earth. Where is your heart at? Is it with the Lord, is He your treasure? One thing I am praying for this year is that my heart would be fully surrendered to the Lord and my will fully submitted to God alone. That I may life for His good and His glory and not my own worldly gain. What a blessing we have to be apart of something so much bigger than ourselves! May I be reminded of that everyday. 

Prayer Requests:
*Peace for hand surgery (I'm a little nervous and its a month away)
*That my sleep medicine would get here soon!
*That my heart will be fully surrendered and my will fully submitted to God
*That I will live for the things that will last and not worldly gain

A Valentines Surprise

Every day I am feeling myself get stronger, I have had many people comment that I am even walking faster! A huge victory step for me! I have finally began to check off things from my long list of 'to do's' that I let slide while I didn't have energy to do more than the bare minimum. My life lately has been pretty consistent but I have some new exciting news!

I have gone five complete days without pop! This may seem like small news but for me this is huge! Before I began the supplement Plantzymes I was nauseous after every meal, and the only way the nausea would subside...pop. So I drank a lot of pop, and my doctors said that it was okay because I had so much other pain I could drink it to help relieve some of the pain. So I did and it helped a lot but now I don't need it! So I am seeing how long I can go without pop, without needing it for nausea, so far my body is holding up pretty good! I am excited to see how long I can go. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

For Valentine's Day the gents in our Campus Fellowship group put on a dinner for the ladies. We are all single, and they are all single so they create a special evening for the ladies. As their sisters feel very loved by their work in creating a nice evening for us! Here are some pictures of the event. 

 Our table: Tera, Chasity, Myself, Brooke, and Elizabeth 

 Our fabulous dinner! With honey butter shaped in a heart...YUM! 

Now to the entertainment for the evening... the guys did three different songs that we very funny! Below are the recordings...watch only if you want to laugh! 

 Justin Biebers Never Say Never 

 Taylor Swifts Love Story 

(I think this was my favorite) 

And last is a song they found on youtube, the lyrics are hilarious so listen close! 

 They even set up a picture set for us to enjoy! These are the women I live with :) 

Top Row: Elizabeth, Katelyn, Myself

Middle: Laurie

Bottom: Chasity, Stephanie 

  Myself, My sister Tera, and My roommate of three years Katelyn

The gents put on a wonderful evening filled with laughter and love, I didn't record the serious songs but they had a wonderful balance of goofy and serious. I appreciate them very much! They are single now but their future wives will be very blessed!

Prayer Requests:

*That I can keep up with school work

*That I will notice every improvement with my health and praise the Lord for it

*Ganglion Cyst: I have an appointment on Friday with the hand specialist, pray for wisdom and discernment for my doctor and that my hand would remain useful until then. Now its just sore, I can do everything, simply in moderation. 

Daughter of the King

Since the last time I blogged I finished reading the book of Revelations and every time I read it I am in awe of the promises of God. Here and now I feel blessed by the Lord in so many ways; my friends, my family, the hope I have been given, my health. There are so many blessings I have been given and there are so many more that the Lord has in store for His people that it is hard for me to even imagine the splendor of them! I will wait patiently but I am so excited to walk the streets of Heaven! What a glorious day that will be! This is one of the many promises that the Lord has given us. 

And I heard a loud voice from the throne, saying, "Behold, the tabernacle of God is among men, and He will dwell among them, and they shall be His people, and God Himself will be among them, and He will wipe away every tear from their eyes; and there will no longer be any death; there will no longer be any mourning, or crying, or pain."

 ~Revelations 21:3-4 

One day this world will end, one day Christ will come back for us and He will live among us. Christ has conquered death for us and He has given us the opportunity to live with Him for eternity. He paid our price. Why can't we pay the price? For us to been seen as innocent before the Lord we must also be seen as perfect; no lie, no theft, no sin of any sort. The Lords standard is so high that it is one that we can never meet. So whats the price? The price is our life, an eternity in Hell. But God in His mercy sent Christ who came and died for us, who rose again conquering death. Christ has given us a choice, Christ is the only way to enter heaven and it comes from a humble heart that recognizes its error and repents. 

There are so many promises that we are given for life and for what is to come, for heaven, but those promises are strictly for the Lords people. For people who are thirsty, unsatisfied with this life, who want more and have found that satisfaction in our Lord. 

"I will give to the one who thirsts from the spring of the water of life without cost. He who overcomes will inherit these things, and I will be his God and he will be My son."

 ~Revelations 21:6b-7

God loves you and because of His love He made a way for you to perfection. That if you may choose, Christ will take your punishment and God will see you as Christ. Perfect. I am so imperfect, I am so unworthy but that is why Christ came and died for us. He is the one who makes us worthy, its not any accomplishment we have here on earth, its simply a humble heart. A person who realizes their need for a savior and accepts the Savior paying their debt. When we make this choice we have overcome, we are considered a child of God. We become children of the King and I am so excited to hear from the mouth of God that I am His daughter. For now, I will cling to this verse, because we are the sons and daughters of God.  Remember that, let us find our worth in the Lord.  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I have been doing well health wise, I have been keeping up with my classes and my medicine. The Lord has been very gracious to me in that area! I started a new vitamin called Plantzymes and it is wonderful! If anyone struggles with nausea you need to try this! You simply take two tablets before meals. Since I began this my nausea has been drastically reduced! It is rare now that I get nauseous from food or medicine, when I used to be nauseous after every meal, I'm telling you its so worth it! 

I just got off of my ten day medicine for my breathing co-infection babisa, the co-infection was gone but during my big setback it came back as well. Its return has given me more opportunities to trust the Lord and rejoice in weakness because this medicine makes me sicker than normal. So I completed it for this month and I am excited for the break! My lyme has been pretty tame the last month, letting me get up earlier and have longer days. I even noticed I am walking faster! My hips are still my big pain spot but I trust they will get better as time goes by. 

I am currently going to a chiropractor for my hips and back which is going well, my chiropractor says my body is accepting and holding the adjustments very well. That was always my big problem before so it's exciting to see improvement! I am also doing water therapy, not as often as I would like but it is better than nothing. It helps me get moving and feel relief with the heat of the water. Overall, we are making progress and taking each day one step at a time. So for now I am counting every blessing and rejoicing over every small step of victory. Keep pressing, your reward will be great and so worth it! 

Prayer Requests:
*Healing for my family, we would grow closer to the Lord daily
*That I can keep up in my classes
*My cyst would remain little-not much of an update here; it hasn't grown but my hand is still weak and sore but it is usable so for now I am just waiting it out