Simply Today

I have been on antibiotics for almost two weeks now, each day has its own set of challenges and lately a new set of symptoms. For the last four days I am continuing to get worse, its part of the process and I knew I would but it is still difficult now that I'm here.

The last couple days I began to get overwhelmed by lyme disease, I was looking ahead. I have realized that looking ahead at this point is not good, because when I look ahead all I see is pain. I learned a couple months ago that I need to focus on today and I realized just how important it is to take one day at a time. If I look at today I see the grace God has given me, the strength the Lords holds me up with, the pain but also the joys of life. 

A joyful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit dries up the bones. ~Proverbs 17:22  

I have joy and hope because of the cross of Christ and when I look only at today the blessing stand out more than the pain. I heard one time when you look ahead in your life, look far enough to see heaven. And when you look back, look far enough to see the cross. If we focus on the things that are, the things that will never change our gaze is fixed and our gate is set, we will endure all things. 

Surely there is a future, and your hope will not be cut off. ~Proverbs 23:18

Earlier last week when I kept looking ahead I didn't see my future, or a good one anyway. I was looking at August when I may be pain free, or in two years when I may be off antibiotics and my fight will be over. But none of those are set in stone, if I put my hope in a date I will be crushed because the chances that would be the right date are so slim. But I love this verse because it is such a great reminder that even if I can't see it or visualize a day without pain the Lord has a future planned for my life, and through all the twists and turns, ups and downs I will always have the hope of God and that is so much more than enough. 

Some detail, the last week or so every day I began getting sick at noon and feeling better at five, except for the last two days which have pretty rough the whole day, every day I wake up a new thing hurts or makes itself known. I am back on a bland diet of carbs and fruit, I simply can't digest any other food. I have no idea why I can eat fruit, when my gallbladder went bad I was on this 'carb and fruit diet' and I had the doctors so confused. I guess fruit is harder to digest than anything else because of the acid in it, but for me it is the easiest. 

I started the diet again because whenever I would eat protein or veggies I would have stabbing pain in my abdomen. I have other new small symptoms but the biggest change happened last night. I was just about to head to bed when it felt like someone was squeezing my chest, beginning at the top of my stomach up to my thyroid. The pressure made me choke but after about five minutes of coughing the pressure began to go down again, I kept coughing into the night but nothing like the first five minutes. My chest doesn't feel as tight but I still can't get a full breath and it hurts to use long sentences. We have a call into Dr. P but since its a weekend we won't hear back until Monday, so I will keep you updated on that. 

I am not feeling well tonight so I decided to stay home from church, my parents are in town so they are stopping by with sizzling rice soup! The best soup and the best parents! 

Prayer Requests:
*That I will have a rejoicing heart no matter the pain
*That I will be able to clearly recognize a herx
*That I will focus on today
*That I will rely on the Lords strength not mine
*That the Lord will bless those blessing me